Future Arts Blog

This coun­try will fall apart imme­di­ately if the 400,000+ jobs that are avail­able aren’t filled shortly by its pop­u­la­tion. Accord­ing to Maria Miller the unem­ployed are reluc­tant to take up any of these vacan­cies and that’s why there are so many of us con­tent with life on the dole. So with the unem­ployed unpre­pared to do the graft to save Great Britain, it’s now up to those who already work to take up more work whilst the feck­less carry on par­ty­ing as if it’s the last days of Rome.

I’m sure that Maria has plenty of appetite to do what is con­sid­ered beneath the work-shy to com­ple­ment her job as a dis­abil­ity min­is­ter. It won’t be long before we see her and the rest of the gov­ern­ment tak­ing up the thou­sands of zero-hours con­tract jobs that are out there, such as shelf-stacking, clean­ing, serv­ing cof­fee, or tele­mar­ket­ing and all the oth­ers that lay vacant. Doing these jobs will give the coali­tion more ammu­ni­tion to achieve its ulti­mate dream of mak­ing unem­ploy­ment a crim­i­nal offence.

Once that law has passed, the recently unem­ployed will be sent straight off to one of Emma Harrison’s A4e deten­tion cen­tres. Depend­ing on how badly your unem­ploy­ment cir­cum­stances are, you will be released after six months to do com­mu­nity work in super­mar­kets and if you’re lucky you’ll get a job at the end of it. How­ever if you don’t per­form bril­liantly you will be sent back to one of Emma Harrison’s deten­tion cen­tres. Thomas O. Mur­ton (Amer­i­can prison reformist) will be turn­ing in his grave if he ever got to see the exploita­tion of crim­i­nals that goes on in these estab­lish­ments. If only he was alive today to stop the hor­ror that’s about to happen.

All I can do now is plan for an escape that is along the lines of the one por­trayed in that bril­liant film The Shaw­shank Redemp­tion. I’m going to have to out-criminal enter­prise the biggest crim­i­nal enter­pris­ers of them all if I’m to even­tu­ally live a ful­fill­ing life. Until then I shall just bide my time as peo­ple try to dis­tract me with the lat­est fad invented by mar­ket­ing teams that will ele­vate the chances of get­ting me into decent work.

For years brutes like Emma Har­ri­son have promised so much and deliv­ered so lit­tle. She has freed her­self by accu­mu­lat­ing a for­tune on the back of her promises. But in return she has forced the unem­ployed into a fruit­less lifestyle of approach­ing places where they’re unwanted. Still Emma Har­ri­son and the gov­ern­ment keep preach­ing about skills all in the name of progress. Once upon a time I thought that skills mat­tered; but they don’t mat­ter, com­pared to how peo­ple matter.

Until we put peo­ple before skills in this coun­try we’ll never get it right. Then again Emma Har­ri­son clearly doesn’t have the skills to get all the unem­ployed into work, and she’s still in the job. Maybe one day the rest of us will get as many chances as she’s had.

Damo